


You Can Be My Voice

by Angel_made_of_scars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Mute Dean, Sign Language, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 13:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5871754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_made_of_scars/pseuds/Angel_made_of_scars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has been having issues with bouts of mutism since they were young. In college, Sam took ASL - American Sign Language.</p><p>A little ficlet because even the strongest people can deal with selective mutism and I saw a headcanon that Dean would deal with it as a result of a fucked up childhood and Sam would be really supportive and sweet and help him in every way he could. Also I haven't written wincest in a while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can Be My Voice

When Dean didn't come to the kitchen in the morning, Sam knew something was up. He waited a good two hours past the time Dean usual got up, but there was still no sign of him.

Sam sighed and pushed his chair out, standing and stretching. He downed the last of the smoothie he had made himself and headed off towards Deans room.

The halls were quiet. Deans room was quiet. There was no music or bad porn playing. Dean was either sleeping, or laying in complete silence.

It proved to be neither. Dean was standing in his bathroom, looking in the mirror. Sam came up slowly, so as not to startle him, but even as he put a hand on Deans shoulder, his brother didn't respond.

"Dean? You alright?" Sam asked quietly. Deans lip quivered, but he didn't open his mouth. He made no noise.

"Dean, look at me." Sam said gently, turning him away from the mirror. Deans eyes met his. He looked panicked.

"Can you not talk?" Sam asked. Dean stared at him, his eyebrows moving to look sad almost.

He desperately wanted to respond. He just couldn't.

"Dean, you hear my voice. Listen to me. It's ok. Quiet day, right?" Sam said. Dean didn't answer.

He got this way sometimes, after particularly bad hunts. It hadn't happened in years, and Sam could understand Deans panic. He had explained it once when they were young, how he just couldn't get the words out, couldn't even nod yes or no sometimes. He just felt stuck. That day, Sam told him about selective mutism.

"Do you want me to stay quiet to?" Sam asked. Dean reached out and fisted his hand in Sam sleeve. He nodded and lifted his hands.

'We can sign today. Can you sign?' Sam asked. Dean just stared at him pleadingly.

'It's going to be alright. Come eat some breakfast.' Sam signed.

Dean visibly relaxed, like a weight has been lifted. He slumped and his eyes closed to relatively normal size. Sam prayed to thank Jess for the idea of that ASL class in college.

'Come on. Do you want to lean on me today? You can relax.' Sam motioned. Dean looked up to meet his eyes then, and Sam knew it was a yes.

'Cereal or eggs?' Sam signed. Dean bit his lip.

'Right, sorry. I will make eggs.' Sam signed. Dean seemed happy with that, and continued walking alongside Sam, holding his elbow.

When they got to the kitchen, Dean sat down at his place like normal and Sam cooked. Dean just watched silently, not feeling the need to move.

Once his eggs were in front of him, he did what Sam had gotten used to expecting, and pushed them towards him. Sam shook his hands and smiled, a universal 'no thank you' signal, and Dean pulled the plate back towards himself, scarfing it down like usual. Sam grinned and shook his head.

'You're going to choke one day.' Sam signed, getting Deans attention. He just smiled around a mouthful.

As soon as Dean was done, he got up, and put his plate in the sink. He rinsed it off and walked back to the table, seemingly waiting for something. Sam stood up and got his hands ready.

'Do you want to watch a movie?' Sam signed. Dean reached out and put his hand on Sam bicep. Sam nodded.

He eventually lead Dean to their "living room" which consisted of a couch, a DVD player, and a small tv. Dean plopped down and waited, and Sam scanned the movies. He settled on Indiana Jones, a relatively tame movie that would relax Dean, and held it up. Dean smiled and Sam put the disc in.

As soon as the movie started, Dean tensed, but Sam lowered the volume. He sat down closer to Dean then strictly necessary, and Dean leaned over onto his shoulder.

It was casual at this point. They were a little too close, a little too bold, but that was ok. Sam looked over at the top of Deans hair and smiled fondly.

"I know you want me quiet, but I wanted to tell you that you can go to sleep if you want." Sam whispered. Dean acknowledged him by putting a hand on Sams knee.

* * *

About half way through the movie, Sam put an arm around him and pulled him closer. Dean readjusted and got more comfortable, but didn't take his eyes off the screen. So Sam took a risk. He leaned over and picked up Deans hand, so he was holding it on Deans shoulder.

Dean looked surprised, maybe even a little proud, but not upset. He blinked a few times, and looked at his hand in Sams. Then, he leaned back into Sams side like nothing had changed.

* * *

Dean dozed in and out of consciousness after that. He couldn't help it. Sam was soft and warm, and with the dull noise of the movie and the rhythmic heartbeat under his ear, he drifted.

Eventually, he felt his pillow move, and it woke him. When he opened his eyes and sat up, Sam was smiling at him.

'I'm just glad you are ok.' Sam signed. Dean gave a shy smile. He was glad for that too.

'Do you want lunch?' Sam asked. Dean stood up as answer, and Sam chuckled.

'You always think with your stomach.' Sam signed.

'Damn straight.' Dean signed back, and Sam laughed.

'I see you are feeling o-k.' Sam said.

'Not yet. I am feeling better though. Thank you.' Dean signed back. Sam dipped his head.

'Do you want pizza?' Sam asked. Dean patted his stomach in confirmation and Sam smiled.

Dean followed Sam to the kitchen, like they were attached, and stayed close as he pulled the food from the fridge. He motioned towards the microwave, but Dean took a piece of pizza from him. Sam just nodded and sat down across from him at the table, in their normal seats.

As they ate, Sams foot traveled, and Dean glared at him when his toes started tickling Deans sock covered ones. Sam fucking giggled at the look on Deans face when started going up his leg, and Dean cracked a smile.

It was something they had never done, the footsie. Dean figured it was a day for new things though. As he watched Sams face light up, and saw his dimples, he raised his hands.

'You are cute.' Dean signed simply. Sam blushed, light pink on his cheeks and nose, and Dean wanted to melt when Sam reached over towards him. He held Deans hand across the table for the rest of the meal, sneaking occasional glances up at him.

When they were both done, Dean stood and pulled Sam with him, towards his room. Sam slowed when Dean walked down the hall.

'What are we doing?' Sam asked. Dean was blushing.

'It's not what you are thinking.' Dean scolded, like Sam was the one with the bad mind. A lot has changed today, Dean is dragging him to his room, and Sam is the dirty one?

Dean opened the door to his room and went in, Sam following behind him. He shut the door and Dean stood for a minute, trying to think of how to speak out.

'Earlier was nice.' Dean signed slowly. He shook out his hands like he was nervous, and Sam waited patiently.

'Would you-' Dean signed, but he stopped. He shook out his hands again, more determined to speak, but this time, he couldn't do anything at all. Sam stepped forwards and held both Deans hands.

"It's ok, I understand." Sam said quietly. Dean let out a breath.

'Get on the bed, I am going to get the computer set up.' Sam signed. Dean did as he said, slipping under the sheet and resting his head on the pillow. Sam plugged in the laptop and put it to Deans right on his nightstand, facing him so they could see it.

'Is a movie alright?' Sam asked. Dean tried to find a way to answer, but in the long run he just pointed to the laptop.

'I will be right back.' Sam signed, walking out of the room. Dean waited patiently, and eventually Sam came back.

'Game of thrones, all of the seasons.' Sam motioned, and smiled. Sam knew just what he liked.

Dean popped the first disc in the disc drive and Sam laid down behind him, getting comfy. By the time it was playing, Sam has his arm over Deans waist, and his head nuzzled up in his hair.

Dean started to drift again. It was pleasant and warm, not anything like the nightmares he usually had. Sam jumped a few times, already asleep in his own dreams. If he were a dog, Dean would say he was chasing rabbits. As it was, he might be chasing werewolves.

He turned over towards Sam and tucked his face into his chest. It was odd, everything about today, about right now. He loved him though, he did. It was a weird situation for sure. Instead of dwelling on it, Dean closed his eyes.

* * *

"Dean?" Sam said quietly. Deans eyes fluttered open.

"It's ok, it's about midnight. You missed dinner, but I didn't want to wake you up. You alright?" Sam asked. Dean shrugged. Why wouldn't he be?

"You were talking in your sleep. Just little things, saying hello and talking about a wendigo. I wanted to make sure it wasn't a nightmare." Sam explained. Dean blinked in surprise. He had been talking?

"Talk- Sam. I can talk. Thank God." Dean sighed. Sam smiled at him.

"What brought on that mute thing? Was it the djinn in Colorado?" Sam asked. Dean shook his head.

"Don't know. Still feel weird. Can I just not talk?" Dean asked. Sam nodded.

"Sure, yeah. You want me to stay?" Sam asked. Dean nodded quickly.

"Ok, ok. It's alright, I was planning to argue if you said no. Can you imagine that, me arguing with a mute?" Sam joked, and Dean smiled just a little, enough for Sam to know he hadn't gone too far with that one. Sam grinned back.

"You sure you're alright? You look a little freaked out." Sam said. Ok, so he was a little freaked out. Sam was just so close, and he had been having a weird day previously, and they had held hands. They were cuddling right now. They had played _footsie._ You don't footsie someone you're not interested in.

Dean backed up a bit and started to sign. Sam squinted in the dark to see.

"You need to try something? Go for it." Sam said quietly.

Dean moved slowly, leaving an out in case Sam was going to pull away, but he didn't. He stopped at the last second, waiting, but when Sam still hadn't moved, he pressed forward. His lips touched Sams, just a barely there brush, and Dean pulled away quickly. Sam smiled wide, and it sent a thrill through Dean.

"That's it? Shit Dean, you had me worried." Sam grinned, placing a kiss to the tip of Deans nose. He moved to each cheek, then right on Deans lips, and Dean was blushing bright red now.

"Let's go back to sleep. We can talk- or sign, in the morning, ok?" Sam said. Dean nodded. Before Sam could pull him closer again, he backed up.

He signed 'Thank you'. Sam signed 'You are welcome'.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I portrayed this ok. I don't have mutism of any kind, but I really liked the idea. :/


End file.
